The Fedora Hat

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Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Alone

I lived alone. I ate alone. I worked alone. I spent my nights watching movies at home, never attempting to venture out and meet people or try and fill the lonely hole in my heart. I could talk to people, I could just never force myself to go those few extra steps and get to know someone beyond the mundane.

But then I found the medallion. And I changed my body to match someone who might be more outgoing. I thought that maybe with a change of perspective, I could be more brave and get to know people a little bit more.

It was a bigger change than I had imagined, becoming a woman. I was beautiful, and I felt slightly more confident with that knowledge. I forced myself to go out and complete my daily routine as a completely different person, and just for that accomplishment I felt better about myself.

I even talked with this nice guy in one of my classes. We seemed to get along just fine, I even invited him back to my apartment to continue our conversation.

He didn't force himself on me, but I didn't make a move to stop him. Despite the strangeness of the experience, I enjoyed the intimacy with him. It was nice to be close to somebody for once, to feel something.

He wasn't there when I woke up in the morning. Only the stain showed that anyone besides myself had ever been there. I walked downstairs to see if he was really gone. A step above the bottom, I sat down.

It doesn't matter who I am. Nothing changes. I am alone.

1 comment:

  1. Wow, this is a powerful bit of writing. Poetic and so sad. You really brought out some emotion in me, I could so relate, and I might be her if I had the medallion.

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